Best and Worst Marriage

00:00:00 Recently, I finished reading Charles Dickens classic work A Tale of Two Cities, said at the time of the French Revolution between characters that move between Paris and London. The beginning, of course, is very well known. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was the age of wisdom. It was the age of foolishness. That seems like an appropriate beginning for us as well as we ponder today the mystery of marriage. As we sit in awe and reverence before this incredible gift that the Lord made for us to invite us into that communion, into that covenant marriage. When it works, is the best of times. It’s a most amazing and incredible gift for the two people involved and for the wider family that they have. But when things go wrong. And we all know people in those situations, whether that’s an actual breakdown leading to divorce or just all of the the suffering and sorrowing that happens when people with the best of intentions make a commitment to each other that they’re simply not able to remain faithful to.

00:01:29 We’re invited today to really reflect and to pray for all of those different marriages that we know in our own lives, our own marriage, or the marriage of our family and friends, to pray for people in marriages that are struggling, people that are experiencing just that awkwardness, the the, the horrors, the the bitterness, the brokenness that human nature inevitably brings to those experiences. We’re given today before Jesus is tested in the gospel. We’re given in our first reading, the way that God originally intended marriage to be. Now, one of the things about this passage from Genesis two is that we’ve often mistranslated. We’ve misunderstood what lies at the heart of the text, and doing so prevents us from really experiencing what God’s original purpose and plan was. We’re told that it’s not good for the human to be alone, or for the human to be solitary. And we’ve often said that God says, I will make a helper for him. Which is really just not a very good translation of the Hebrew there, which is an  ‘ezer kenegdo – a helper, as his partner.

00:03:00 Elsewhere, this word ‘ezer is used to describe God as the Indispensable other, the deliverer for God’s people. So perhaps we should say. It’s not good for the human to be solitary. I will make one who can deliver him from his inability to fulfill the divine commission alone. One who mirrors him. Just as the Adam [the human] was fashioned from the soil.

So God begins to fashion all the wild beasts and the birds of the sky. None of these, though, is intended by God to be Adam’s, the humans as an  ‘ezer kenegdo. God is inviting the human into this role as sharing responsibility for creation, calling it and naming it to become what it is made to be. We’re told that God then causes this deep sleep to fall on the human. And the Hebrew word is tardemah. Tardemah is used to demonstrate the inability of the partners of God from providing their own help. For example, Abraham in Genesis 15, when he’s invited into that experience of making a covenant and God slaughters the animals and separates them one half of the path and the other half, and Abraham [Avram] is invited to walk between the two halves.

00:04:37 God takes the initiative to prevent the human from attempting to create his own ‘ezer , his own helper, his own partner. Finally, we’re told that God takes a tsela from the side of the man when he is in that tatami. Unfortunately, this very common Hebrew word is translated in almost every English translation as rib, but in the other 41 occurrences across the Hebrew Bible, this word tsela is translated as side. It’s an architectural occurrence. It’s an architectural word. All the other occurrences are architectural in a sacred context the building of the tabernacle or the temple. It’s the same here. And God took one from the human’s side, and he closed the flesh in its place, and he built the side into a woman. So not just a rib, not just a part of the man, but it’s as if God completely rends the man in half, one half. He builds into a new creation, into the woman, into Eve, into life. God essentially cuts Adam in half and builds the woman from his side.

00:06:05 You cannot get a clearer and stronger statement that the two sexes are meant for each other as equal and complementary. Imagine how the world may have developed if our biblical theology had been more truly built on the radical sexual equality, that should be its basis. We cannot image God into the world when we are alone and isolated. We need each other to call and invite creation more deeply into the worship of God. One of the most beautiful ways of doing this is through the sacred intimacy of the marriage covenant. Marriage will never be easy. So let us bring all those who are married to this Eucharist and commit to interceding for them. For those of you who are struggling, you are also not alone in this battle. You’re not alone in understanding your purpose and place within the plan of God. God is calling you and loving you and inviting you more deeply into this place of encountering him. This place of being called into covenant, friendship and union with the Lord.