Choosing the Better Part: Reflections on Hospitality, Distraction, and Spiritual Nourishment

As a parish priest, I often find myself reflecting on the stories of Scripture, not as distant tales, but as living invitations to examine our own hearts and habits. In a recent homily, I explored the familiar tension between Martha and Mary, set against the backdrop of Abraham’s legendary hospitality. These stories are not just about ancient customs or personalities; they speak directly to our modern lives, especially in the context of church communities where service, busyness, and spiritual hunger are ever-present realities.

In this post, I want to guide you through the main themes of that reflection, offering practical and spiritual insights for anyone who finds themselves torn between the demands of service and the call to deeper spiritual nourishment. Whether you’re a seasoned host, a busy volunteer, or someone longing for a quieter connection with God, I hope these thoughts will encourage and equip you.

The Joy and Stress of Hospitality: Learning from Abraham and Martha

The Realities of Hosting

Let’s be honest: hosting guests, whether at home or in the parish, is rarely a serene affair. There’s a unique blend of joy and anxiety that comes with wanting everything to be just right. I know this feeling well—scrambling to clean, set the table, prepare food, and then realising at the last minute that you’ve forgotten the glassware or the ice for drinks. Timing is everything, and the pressure to create a welcoming environment can be overwhelming.

Key Insights:

• Preparation is both practical and emotional: The desire to offer the best to our guests is rooted in love, but it can easily tip into stress and self-criticism.
• Last-minute chaos is normal: Even the most experienced hosts experience that frantic rush. It’s a sign of care, not failure.
• The joy of connection: Despite the stress, there’s a deep satisfaction in seeing people come together, grateful and connected.

Abraham’s Example: Hospitality with Anxious Energy

Abraham, the great patriarch, is often remembered for his faith, but his hospitality is equally remarkable. When three mysterious visitors appear, Abraham doesn’t hesitate—he runs to greet them, urges Sarah to bake bread (an ambitious request on short notice!), and personally selects a calf for the meal. His energy is frantic, even anxious, but it’s not criticised in the biblical account.

Actionable Advice:

• Embrace your humanity: Like Abraham, it’s okay to feel anxious or overwhelmed when serving others. God sees the heart behind the action.
• Hospitality is a sacred calling: The effort we put into welcoming others, even when imperfect, is a reflection of God’s own generosity.
• Don’t let flaws disqualify you: Abraham’s story reminds us that even those with complicated pasts and imperfect faith can offer genuine hospitality.

Martha and Mary: The Tension Between Service and Presence

Martha’s Frustration: The Weight of Many Tasks

I have great empathy for Martha. She’s the one in the kitchen, juggling multiple responsibilities, feeling the pressure mount as she tries to serve Jesus and the other guests. Her frustration is palpable, and I recognise it in myself—especially during busy seasons in the parish when the to-do list never seems to end.

Deeper Insights:

• Distraction is a spiritual challenge: Martha’s busyness isn’t just about tasks; it’s about being pulled in too many directions, losing sight of the purpose behind the service.
• Irritability is a warning sign: When we find ourselves snapping or feeling resentful, it’s often a sign that we need to pause and reconnect with our deeper motivations.
• Service without grounding leads to burnout: Without spiritual nourishment, even the most well-intentioned service can become exhausting and joyless.

Mary’s Boldness: Choosing the Better Part

Mary, in contrast, makes a radical choice. She sits at Jesus’ feet—a place traditionally reserved for male disciples—defying social norms to be present and attentive. Her courage is striking; she chooses to receive, to listen, to be nourished.

Actionable Steps:

• Prioritise spiritual nourishment: Make time to sit in the presence of the Lord, even when it feels countercultural or inconvenient.
• Be courageous in your choices: Sometimes, choosing the “better part” means saying no to good things in order to say yes to what is truly life-giving.
• Let yourself be transformed: Spiritual nourishment isn’t just for our own benefit; it changes us so we can serve others more authentically.

Practical Guidance for Church Life: Balancing Service and Spirituality

1. Discern Your Season

Not every moment calls for the same response. Sometimes, we are called to active service; at other times, to quiet presence.

• Ask yourself: What is the “better part” for me right now? Is it action, or is it contemplation?
• Be honest about your limits: It’s okay to step back from some responsibilities to focus on your spiritual health.

2. Create Space for Both Service and Stillness

• Build rhythms of rest: Schedule regular times for prayer, reflection, and simply being with God.
• Share the load: Don’t be afraid to ask for help or delegate tasks within your community.
• Encourage others: Recognise and affirm those who serve behind the scenes, as well as those who model prayerful presence.

3. Transform Your Service Through Spiritual Nourishment

• Let prayer inform your action: Begin each day or task with a moment of prayer, asking for guidance and grace.
• Reflect on your motivations: Are you serving out of love, or out of obligation and anxiety?
• Seek transformation, not just activity: Allow your time with God to shape the way you serve, making your actions an overflow of grace rather than a source of stress.

Final Reflections: Becoming People of Hospitality and Presence

The stories of Abraham, Martha, and Mary invite us to a deeper integration of service and spirituality. We are called to be people who welcome others with open hearts, but also people who know when to sit, listen, and be nourished by the Lord. This balance is not always easy, but it is essential for authentic Christian life.

My prayer for you is this: May you have the courage to choose the better part, to sit at the feet of Jesus and be transformed by His love. And from that place of spiritual nourishment, may you rise to serve others with joy, generosity, and peace.

Let us become communities where both Martha’s service and Mary’s presence are honoured, and where Abraham’s hospitality is lived out in all its beautiful, messy humanity.

If you found these reflections helpful, I invite you to share your own experiences of balancing service and spiritual nourishment in the comments below. Let’s continue to encourage one another as we seek to follow Christ more deeply in our daily lives.